Hw 25: Story comments

Part 1:My Story comments to various peers:

Sam,

I really enjoyed your story, probably because I'm such a romantic and you really embodied how this guy had a thing for this girl with out flatly saying so in one sentence. You compressed the scene nicely and its easy to tell that your interpretation of cool is someone who doesn't think their too good for anyone.
I think a reoccurring problem in high school is that when teenagers (especially girls) grow out of their awkward stages and into their good looks, they become superficial and egotistical over it. Its clear that an ideally cool girl to you would have confidence and modesty.

Great job :)
- Alicia
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CHRIS!

This was your story?
Andy read it in class two Friday's ago and I was blown away.
I'm pleasantly surprised it was your story, I never knew how well you wrote. You did a fantastic job with this assignment, for one because you didn't write about the typical type of cool but the more admirable type, like a father who would do anything for his kids. For two you wrote about a realistic scenario as opposed to a fantasy heroine like most of us wrote about.

I thought it was brilliant how you included the mother's boyfriend as the "typical" form of cool that most kids would idolize more because of his flashy luxuries, but that in the end it took the death of the father for the kid to realize how very amazing his own father was.

You used examples like working two jobs but always making time for the children in his life, including one who weren't even biologically his, to embody how he put others first, a quality most kids overlook in their parents.

Very very well done, I plan on looking at you blog more often and look forward to reading what else you have contribute to this class.

:D

- Alicia
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Evannnn,

I didn't know this was your story being read aloud on Friday! I thought it was very well written and a perfect example how how people fall under PRESSURE to be cool.
This is definitely a conflict that has popped up before, for some reason in high school slacking off and not giving a shit is seen as bad ass and way cooler then doing well.
I'm not sure if I'm right, but it seems like in the last paragraph when Mike finally decides to circle the correct answer and get the grade he deserved, you were portraying that being true to yourself is much cooler then dumbing yourself down to "appear" cool.

Great work

- Alicia
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Chlohoe!

Hey mommy, I'd like to tell you that I really enjoyed your story, simply because this is YOU and you are definitely one of the coolest people I know.

I can tell cool to you is a person who makes their own rules, follows their own trends and doesn't let anyone interfere with who she is.

I like how you embodied all that in your story with one compressed scene just like we were supposed to. You used a common example that we all go through, except your character portrays a complex trait that no other person had. They are independent, rebellious yet not in a way that insults the intelligence of others.

I agree that being cool is trying your best to do well but with out imposing consequences to your true beliefs.

Lovely job hun <3 - Alicia ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
John Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
I read your story Thursday night, I loved it then and I love it now. Its not just because I would personally like your character and their spontaneous act of enthusiasm, but the fact that they are bold enough to do what they want when they want is a quality that is in fact cool. I like that you used a simple, compressed example that I'm sure you may have experienced in your class once before. That being said, you also envisioned a scenario that said a lot in not so many words which to me encompasses good writing skills. I like that you character does something unexpected especially for their personality. He is an attentive well behaved student who can also have a great time and be somewhat of a trend setter. He was able to stand up to the teacher without insulting or threatening their authority, which is pretty rare for our age and this school. You didn't have a hero who did something extreme or badass like most people would have,you had a typical average joe (or ryan) who did something that HE would be proud of which is better then any typically common act of "cool". Pretty prettyprettyprettypretty well done. :D - Alicia ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Max, I was pleasantly surprised you actually did this assignment. Nice to see you have a creative side. Your story was interesting and although you were straight forward wit your perception of whats cool you suggested it in a different way then others. I got from your story that a quality you find cool in people is trust and loyalty. Although it took tragedy for both Pascal and Roxy to help them relate to one another, there were still able to confide in each other because of the common bond which wasn't easy for Pascal. Your cool person seems a lot more realistic, sadly, then most others. The people who are seen as cool are typically those who think their better then everyone else, which makes your character the most believable. You embodied the egotistical jerk quite nicely, well done. :) - Alica ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Beabear, Huh, interesting character. It sounds like something you'd see in the movies, the mysterious unpredictable cool new kid who everyone wonders about but can't quite figure out. I like her attitude of not caring what others thought and being bold enough to stand up and speak when no one else would. Its seems to me you admire people who groove to the beat of their own drums and makes it work because they believe it works. She doesn't need the reassurance of others, nor does she care about what is the norm. That is definitively a quality most people would find cool. I loved the way you structured your story too, you compressed it into a couple scenes that easily embodied the personality of your character. I thought I had figured your character out as the badass rebel who wasn't afraid to take fashion risks and who went against school rules by listening to music in class and walking in late. But then she stood up and showed an intellectual side, proving she was more that met the eye. I like that. Well done gurl :) - Alicia ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Part 2: Analysis of stories

This was such an eye opening assignment, what an interesting way to get to know my peers. A lot of these stories reflected the values of typical American teenagers. They idolize the rebellious noble person who defies the norm and does there own thing, but successfully.

I was impressed at how many people included academics in their stories, how even though most of us seem like we don't give a shit, deep down we desire to have great social lives while also managing good grades and intellectuality.

I thought Evan's was the most realistic story, a dilemma many people striving to be cool face. There is such pressure in society to have come form of social status that some people have to dumb themselves down to accomplish such image. The desire to fit in can over power the skill to excel and do well. The baffling part is that no one would think that someone who tries so hard to be cool that they purposely fail is cool, but instead pretty desperate.

But the stories that stood out the most to me were ones that didn't discuss high school coolness, but real life cool like Chris R's and Ali Jo's. Something I stressed in my other blog post was how our image of whats cool varies with our moral values, something that is increasingly changing as we get older. Its seems that as we age, its the little things that satisfy us more then our image or physical demeanor. Once we have more purpose and responsibility, people begin to have a better appreciation, its just hard to get the younger generation to value life in the same way.

A majority of the stories told the short tale of trend setters, teenagers who don't wait to be told the rules but sets them for themselves. Its blatantly obvious that this generation idolizes people who stand out and only conforms to whats trendy but not so much that everyone has it. A lot of people want to be praised for their originality more then they'd like to admit how much they want to fit in. Its seems like unique style only works when you have a following, otherwise it comes across as weird or obnoxious.

It also seems, like we discussed in class previously, that having a voice that is projected and listened to, is also perceived as cool. Take Conor's story. The trouble maker had a bad attitude and a colorful vocabulary that he used to put down another and did so that it humored his freind. But it wasn't until someone was louder that he shut up, proving that volume dominates which gave the girl leverage.

Baically, cool lies within the eyes of the beholder and you can only really be cool if you respect yourself and have the respect of others.